NOCTURNE©

When all the world is sleeping
frozen for a pattern of time
I'd seek you out
only to find
you've gone with then
leaving me behind.

Your face,
a lifelike ivory
so fair
glazed with silver hues
from the ethereal crescent lemon drop.

I hear you breathe
in a shallow rhythmic trance;

a sigh,
a gentle stir,

your heart beats steadily
- perhaps
a lullaby from a dream.

I'm content now,
Love.
I'm hearing the nocturne of your soul.

A love song.
------------------------------
djf
10/21/08
02:03am

if you walk away
then I'll walk away too
i wont remain
if you should ever decide
to part
I will not settle
I will not doubt
walk away and then you'll see

forget
and i shall remember nothing
throw away
and I will not deter
Ignore
and I shall burn
ever ounce of fiber
every string of anything
nothing remains
all is absolute

do not
for a moment
think that you own me
for although thoughts of you
are etched in my mind
your name branded on my skin
i can just as easily shake you off

I will scrape my body if i have to
i will have my wings clipped
i will grow them back
and surely
i can grow myself new skin

so don't you dare
think you can ignore me
that i am at your disposal
for you are a typical fool
and a blissful ignorant
at that

you don't threaten me
for I have already
died a dreamer's death
and for whatever that still binds us now
it can be easily broken

          and remorse?

                    it died along with me
                       when i first bled
                              for you


djf
09/22/08
08:56pm

it's been a while now
since the last time I freely offered my thoughts to you
since the last time I saw the cold remains of a life I once knew
what is your motivation?
what drives your unfortunate flow?
it's in these contemplating hours
I can't decide whether you're a friend or a foe
I think about how you refused me
when I was offered to you more than once
you sly, unwelcome guest
just when the music flows freely
you bow to us
 in shameless assertion to owe you our last dance
it can't be chance, no
you don't work in random chaos
i've watched you toil all my life
you visit in appropriate grace
slithering your way
choking those you touch
like darkness chokes the dead of the night
you leave the living an empty shell
soul-less to greet the birth of light
Death
how much time do I have left?
how many more allotted breaths?

~djf~
09/22/08
06:10 pm

i am confused
emotions clouding reasons

people
they all try to change me
telling me of the things
i should
and
should not be

when i act with reason
my best isn't good enough
when i move with emotion
i'm often told
i've made the wrong decision

i've painted myself a picture
of another
i've caged myself
in
 a standard of me.
strengthened by mistaken acceptance i sought after
i long to see the day that i'll be free

in a double standard society
where everything's read between the lines
it's hard to stand erect
defend your position
when everybody's out to get you
dragging you
out to all direction.

on late
 quiet nights
when the world is spinning dead
my emotion's numb
my body tired,
with hollow aches pounding on my head
i strain to reach deep sleep
but slumber would just not come
feels like i'm fighting a winless battle
and my senses all loose and undone

i'm falling into a bottomless pit
darkness blinding me
i'm dying to see the new dawn
dying to have a real life of my own

08/14/08
03:11pm
~djf

With the moon so low
threatening to drop
I see the ebony cloud drape a mantle
over the freckles of light
and I feel the dewy caress of the wind
on my face that's glaced with tears.
I reach out only to sift frigid air
with fingers grarled from hands
clenched tightly into fists of frustrations and pains.
My arms tremble along with each silent sob I take,
my lungs scathed by ashes from yesterday's afterburn.
Darkness is a comfort.
Light has deserted me, perhaps afraid
stung with the shards of my broken cries.
I've no more tears to shed;
perhaps hope is a vanity now.

02/14/05
08:14am
~djf

your romance with heroes
from child-woven laces of dreams
has brought you again crashing
hope-strewn wings clipped
erasing silver-lined memories of tomorrow
turning dreamer into a fool
loving too much
loving too wrong

everytime you lose a losing hero
you retire to your nook of confusion
there you nurse the wounds people don't see
warming your heart with whatever love that's left
struggling to see beyond from today

you love too much too wrong
wrong being love too strong
but then
how can love be wrong?

11/07/05
08:36am
~djf

after all the glory, wealth and fame
a time when no one would even remember your name
after today and tomorrow has long been gone
even past the time when light and warmth
can no longer be expected from the sun
when the waves would no longer rush back to the shore
when the moon will be gray and is silver no more
a time when a child's laughter will be scarce
and dreamers will no longer find comfort from the stars
when all dreams are forgotten and all memories are bleak
when every foundation of mankind has gone weak
when every lips have lost their prayer
when all falls to regret and contentment is barely there
when the word friend loses its meaning
when faith is impossible to restore
when beauty is superficial
when grace is no more
when hope is but a mere word used
when talking of long-forgotten dreams
when love is not commitment anymore
but just a spark in a seemingly mystical whim
when memories offer no comfort and the present is cold
when tomorrow is a frustrating dream that you cannot seem to hold
when the word is spinning old, so slowly faltering on her course
when the lightning loses its majesty
when thunder is but a whisper that's tired and hoarse
ask me again if I'm going to love you until when
don't be surprised if I'm going to say until after then

05/28/04
03:12a.m.
~djf

I blame you for the loss;
for the hunger unsatisfied.

I am surrounded
by strewned discarded half-thoughts
confetti-like in a graceless fall;
every bridgeless gap
bleakly sneering at me.

The words,
they are empty,
driven by greed
of a destiny deprived.

The desperation.
The insatiability.
The empty pots of gold.
The stolen forevers.
The lose-ended knots.
The rotting flowers
of trusts betrayed
and covenants defiled.

Forgiveness is lost,
discarded to nothingness
along with the unspoken
clumsy good byes;
ill-willed and final.

You have died
and your death,
it left a taste
bitter and sour.
A bit of both and none at all.

My thoughts curl to think
of your name touching my lips.
You don't deserve it.

Yet,
you linger.
Stubborn.

Yet,
loved.
Adored.

~djf
06/28/08
10:05pm

The pearly reverie
Of the vanilla dawn
Strawberry kissed mornings
Wooing breaths of a pale blue life
Intricate kisses
Fluttering as whispered sighs
Webs of sunrise
Spilled in careless delight
Shimmering visions
Translucent yearnings
Silken thread of emotions
Weaving fantasies
To the tapestry of sheer trance
Constant as the succession of day and night
Evident as the shattered fibers of the air
A little too real
A little too grand
Thick as the satiny coat of honey
Jubilant as the dance of the rivers
Precious as the prismatice glow of skin
Pregnant desires
Spirited lusts
Unbroken but confined
Caged to the lush margins of our minds

~djf
02/27/06
09:13am

Of dreams recurring
and longings deterred,
a helpless quiet sigh escaped
fleeting and bare.

Could it be
a paradise void of bliss?
Can a sun weave ribbons of light
barren of warmth and life?

I wonder
is it deceit?

Reckless hunger,
hateful heedless lust;
how can a passion drive dreams
to crippled senseless satisfaction?

If perfection cannot be secured,
how do we tame
unbridled hopes?
Where do we find
an enough that is enough?
Where can we nurse
a burning desire that won't ever age?

If nothing is certain,
how will my heart learn to believe?

01:25pm
05/20/08
~djf