The half smiles and the piercing looks that always steals half my breath away. The brooding silence and the stolen glances that drives my already insane imagination up the walls.
You are not good to me. You are what my cryptonite is made of.
This is beyond shame.
I must not only be insane but concieted as well! Why do I always feel or get the feeling that there is always something MORE that is being kept away from me? Like you want to say something but then decides not to?
Then again, who am I trying to kid? As if someone like you would ever find something worthwhile from someone the likes of me. Those kind of things just don't happen in real life...especially to me.
You overwhelm me when you shouldn't even exist to linger in the premises of my mind. Although you remind me of him, altogether you are solely you. You.
I shall save myself the mortification and stop now. I just needed to vent. Just needed to see my thoughts printed somewhere, so I can let go of some. The build-up inside my head is terrible. I get the ever vivid active imaginations and they always leave me sad and guilty.
I am such a sad fool, today. All througout the remainder of yesterday, all I could ever think of was the song Dream a Little Dream of Me. It played yesterday and of all places and time, it played right there and then.
I am only like this when with you and I hate myself like this. I remember well the last time I felt this strongly before. It ended up with me in a puddle of tears and haunting dreams of regrets. I should know better. But I partly blame you. And mostly myself. I should't read so much between the lines because if I know what is good for me, I'd know that what I read between the lines aren't really there. And you! You should't be drinking at all!
I'll try to fade away after this. If I let myself into my paranoia again, I'd say there's been signs alread. I'll try and stay away. I just know nothing good will come out of this. It doesn't take rocket science and even a major foor like me, on some rare lucid hours can tell.
Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me close and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me