Delectable Dee

this life
these stolen breaths
they are hardly mine

these thoughts
for though I hold them
they will forever elude me
they look up to different masters
they owe their allegiance
to every fractured beat
of this trivial heart
and it's not even mine

these dreams
I nurse and woo them
coveted from somebody else's skies
i have nothing
but hopes and longings
and half sighs
to show to them

them who will never understand
how it is to be
constantly seeing life
through rose-stained glasses
and to touch walls that bleed
to be envious of one's own reflection
and to understand why
true love is jealous
and see exhilarating beauty
through every staggering blow
of pain
but they will never understand

and sometimes
I don't as well
times like today
when things seem so futile
and hope is impossibly so
so so fragile
and you fear
that a mere breath
or a soft whisper of the heart
will blow everything away
and you lose again
and you fall again

where will you find another foothold
where will you find another dream to nurse

these tears
they have etched a path of their own
dried and broken on my cheeks
do you sometimes wonder
if tears have tears as well
do they also cry
with reasons, perhaps
more valid than our own
for they are birthed in pain
(rarely for joy)
tell me
think about it
forgotten tears
everybody else didn't see
so wrapped up in their own demise
selfish and lost

I have but scars to show you
come closely and look here
this is where my wings were clipped
and these from the fall I took
these here,
oh, you should know
i've lost count of the number and times
I have willingly given my heart away
but isn't is amazing
how love cannot be depleted
So yes,
I have but scars to show for my pain
and some wounds
that are healing yet
they still bleed
every now and then
but I wish I could show you
the dying soul within


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