Delectable Dee
You tell me you're disappointed with me as if I care about what you think. Maybe I should. I don't know. Life has a way of changing people, even to an extent one wouldn't have possibly dared imagine.

Perhaps, a few years ago, I would have.

There is something wonderful with aging and growing old. There is also something worthwhile with every pain of let downs people allow you to go through. One can only mourn and grieve so much. I believe that life doesn't give one much option, most of the times. When one needs to move, you either dive in or linger on the ledge all afraid and unprepared until you are helplessly knocked off to fall, anyway. Life is cruel and beautiful like that. You either decide to take the reins and dive or decide to is always your choice which way you go. It doesn't stop there, either. When you hit the swallowing enormity of the water (or time) you get to choose again whether you sink or swim. Most of us choose to sink, giving out feeble excuses that we didn't know how to swim. Excuses are already signs of defeat.

"Life's unfair" is a constant whine that's been well worn to taters since time immemorial. Heaven knows how many times I've used that, too. But on some moments of glorious realizations, we get a glimpse of the beauty of the truth. Life is too precious as it is too fleeting. Only the deserving deserves to live.

I believe that life in its entirety is a gift. It has been given to us but it isn't entirely free. You have to work for it, you have to live it to experience it. Otherwise, you'd just be an empty and pale reflection of what could have truly been. A gift is given but you won't have it until you acknowledge it and make the effort to receive it.

Knowing isn't the same as having. Just as much as existing is as different to living.

I will not stain my present and mar my future getting all worked up with your mediocre and hypocritical opinions of me. You are miserable in you own way and choosing and I cannot change that for you. But I'll be damned to allow you to take me with you as you decide to sink. I would love to clash swords with you. Sometimes, I imagine battling with you and I'd harbor this selfish smile knowing you'd loose. It would be to my utter satisfaction to defeat you and be merciless, rubbing all your shame and mistakes against your raw humiliation, all painful still and bleeding.

Oh, make no mistake of thinking I'm incapable of cruelty. I am as sinister and evil as the burning sin of Eve. To leave you all bewildered and ignored is currently a bland victory for me, but it is victory nonetheless.

I am beyond you and will always be. I will not stoop down to your level. I will choose my battles well. You are not that worthy an opponent. Such a shame, on your part, that is.

Besides...have you not heard the counsel of the wise?

 "Never fight with idiots.
They'll drag you down to their level
and beat you with experience."

Such is the case with you.
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Bacolod Port
November 2009

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