Delectable Dee
And the tragedy is this:

I will not lose you but it seems that I have. I refuse to aknowledge that somehow, I am over you. Or worse, that you have finally left me.

There would be no replacing you. Absolutely, and most assuredly, no. There is nothing existing that could replace the persevering bliss of your ellusive charm, almost tormenting, teetering to madness and desperation.

Do not deprive me of your magnificence. Would you rob this poor soul her sanity and fleeting they may be, intangible source of bliss? I know there are many others. Perhaps more desperate and obsessive and ultimately sure more deserving than I will ever be. But isn't love and passion enough to hold you back?

I promise, someday, I will give you justice. I promise I will bleed more for you. Sleepless nights and khol rimmed eyes and yet, these eyes still burn for you. This deceitful mind, it refuses abandon. The other passions have turned into sunken dreams and all buy you, linger.

Let me be your fool and everyday, I will love you twice as much as I curse you. Who do you favor and why? I almost wish I love you. But I don't. I, in fact, resent you for what you do. Or don't.

I do, however, desire you. I long and desperately yearn for you. There are eternal moments in every hour that I strive to deserve you. Sometimes, you make me so.


So great is the sin of man.
Oh, so great.

I cannot even begin to understand the cruelty of man or from whence they come from. For a specie said to have soul, we sure have an abominable manner of showing it. If not for the Word of God, the Bible, I would dare think that we, as a specie is below the importance of the organisms that eats up the feces of animals.

Personally, of all God's creations, I think us, humans, are the nastiest, loathsome, repulsive, evil creatures that least deserves love. I mean, look at us! We're blatantly destroying the only planet we've got! The animals we call beasts all act upon instincts. Us humans, the so-called chart-topper in the taxonomy of life, the only specie said to have a highly developed brain, soul, reason, language, inquiry, wonder, longing, religion, morality, aesthetics, creativity, imagination, dreams and humor, claim to be much better than them. After all, we developed technology. But look at what we are doing! We act as if we are no more better than these "beasts" we claim to tame.

The nasty TRUTH.

The link leads to a video that is so revolting and heart breaking. I had to watch it though to be fully aware and to wake up to the alarming and utterly appalling seriousness of this crime so deceitfully cloaked by glamor and fame. If every drop of tear I've shed when I saw the video will cause a person who commits this act of barbarianism to drop dead, then I'd gladly cry a river.

Designers should STOP making clothes out of fur. People should boycott designers and labels who produce clothing made from real animal fur. I cannot understand how people could condone this nor could they look up and idolize people who encourage this crime. This is a battle everyone should take a part of.

Do you have a pet? How would you like for someone to skin your pet alive and wear him/her as a coat or a hat? Would you wear your pet? I don't think so.

May this post cause people to be aware of how twisted and repugnant the world has become to have people jovially praise and idolize people (with the likes of JLo/PDiddy/Beyonce/JayZ/Simmons - YES! I named names!) who condone and pedal this horrific "trade". Fur is MURDER. Wake up.

May God forgive us.
We don't deserve God's mercy.
Praise God for grace.


I know the world is not perfect and as time goes by, my little bubble world of ideas become more and more narrow and contracted with real life doubts and impossibilities penetrating inside, eating away the fantasies and hopes of imperfect but beautiful and faithful relationships. I know that hoping for perfection is a foolishness that's bound to burn everything including myself but I never realized until now just how bogus almost everything else is. I never realized demanding for something real would be so hard and near impossible.

I do miss being a child. There is this absolute bliss in childhood. Such blessed innocence that is so poignant and contagious. To be always bathing in amazement at how things work and be excited at the mysteries of life. To love purely and be without malice or pretensions. To embrace hope in its truest sense and to know blind faith in sheer reliance.

I think that the times when we were kids were the times where we truly lived. But then, of course, we grew up and started dying. We became jaded and thought that cynicism is sophisticated. We started caging ourselves with inane standards that takes away the sense from living. We beat ourselves with senseless needs to become empty shells of mere existence.

I felt that I've lost a lot of important people in my life lately. Some have been separated from me by the vast gulf of death and some have chosen to be drifted away by change. Death brings along with it the sting of pain but separation by change, it leaves an altogether different kind of pain. Like a bitter taste in your mouth that you cannot get rid of. It's annoying and frustrating. With death, at least, there is a finality that we all know is irreversible and that which cannot be helped. Changes however leaves us this unsettling frustration that perhaps, just perhaps we could have done something but we weren't able to. That's why things changed. It's a lose end. And most of the times, when doubt settles and the spirit is weary, blame often drops by and points its shrewd and gnarled finger at me.

What have I done? Or perhaps, what have I not done?

Right now, I feel like time is sweeping past me in a frenzied whirlwind of change and I am lost, forgetting and forgotten.


I was still stifling yawns making my way to the breakfast table while filtering out noises to ignore and sounds to tune in to. As the usual daily habit in the house, my mom turns on the radio for news while everybody else is frolicking to and fro, getting ready for the day's events.

I heard the commentator on the radio rattling on about the tragic calamity resulted by Frank. Then the radio commentator moved on to a further subject at hand, still related to the typhoon. Apparently, Sulpicio Lines of the Princess of the Stars will not take part or do anything  pertaining to recovering of the sunken ship because the "insurance money" paid by their insurance company isn't enough to compensate the expenses if they will try to excavate the ship. Needless to say, they will just let the ship rot in there. Along with the still trapped dead bodies of the people and the 10-metric ton toxic chemical Endosulfan.

I almost choked on my bite of spring roll.

Endosulfan is a very toxic chemical use for agricultural purposes. It's so higly toxic that its use is banned in 17 counties. If Endosulfan contaminated meat are consumed by humans, it will prevent the human central nervous system from working properly and causes hyperactivity, nausea, dizziness, headache and convulsions. The chemical has also been linked to birth defects and deformations.

Now, since Sulpicio Lines is refusing to take responsibility of the matter at hand and has resigned to letting it stay in the sea, then no doubt in a much sooner time that we will all know, we will be eating poisoned fish and harming our marine life, which already as is, teetering at the brink of ruins.

How can they get away with things like this? Even if the government will take control of the situation, financing the excavation of the sunken ship, in all aspects of responsibility, what's the government got to do with it? I mean, really? The government can hardly afford to feed the people, plus the calamity stricken victims...much more spend money on something that totally off its responsibility.

I'm personally not pointing an accusing finger at Del Monte. I am appalled at Sulpicio Lines for washing their hands off their responsibility. Clearly they have NO care nor respect for the environment and the people they'll be affecting.  Money seems to be everything that matters to these people. Greedy bastards.

If I'll have the last say in the matter, I'll make sure they shoulder all the expenses on excavating the ship and her toxic content. That or I'll have their shipping line closed. They have no right making a living, skimming through the waters they clearly have no compassion for.

It is an insult to people's wit for their lawyer to claim that the shipping line didn't know that they have a toxic chemical on board the ship. I suppose they're suggesting the idea the they don't check every cargo being loaded to their ships. And who's responsibility should that be, then? I mean, really, 1 + 1 can't be that hard, right? Even a kid can know such basic equation to responsibility. If you carried it, you  answer for it. Had you not wanted that kind of responsibility, you should have not agreed to the shipping of the said cargo. Dumbass.

Money, money, money. Their greed is appalling. I hope when they burn in hell, every money they've crookedly accumulated fuels the fire. Do they even have souls, still?


I am frustrated at how different women are from men.

Why couldn't you remember details?
Why are you emotionally repressed?
Why are dates not important?
Why are you insensitive?

I cannot talk to you just yet. I have forgiven you but I must keep away for a while. For all our many differences, this one, possibly is the greatest - I am as sensitive as your are not. You've broken my heart far too many times and far too damn carelessly.

No, this is not unfair. I need to deprive you of myself so you'll somehow realize how bleak life is without love. I know you shall miss me but perhaps, this time, you will truly see how much I mean to you.

This a necessary evil.

How do you expect us to see past tomorrow? I though you knew how friendship works.

*picture taken from Gawahon Eco Park, Victorias City.

Even with your thorns, I still appreciate you and I have not forgotten how you were like when you blossomed.


Feeling a lot better than I did two days ago but still sick, nonetheless.

The pain has decreased much and the wretched disgusting rejection of the food I try to take has stopped (yessum, paint your imaginations ghastly) but I am still very weak with a massive headache.

Dehydration sucks.

I've been irritable much today and thank the blessed heavens I've managed not to bite some incompetent idiot's head off.

On the brighter side of life, I get a job interview tomorrow. I'm not worried about it. I'm just anxious to see how much they're going offer me. I hope they're going to make it worth my while tomorrow. All that dressing up and early morning rituals (make-up and such, silly boys).

Now, if I was any other person, I'd say "wish me luck!" but because I'm not, I won't. I don't believe in luck.

Neither should you.

Oh, I don't know. Why not trust luck?


Aside from bad manners, there's one thing that really irks me from back of beyond to annoyance avenue and that is TERRIBLE SPELLING!!!

I can laugh and bat my eyelashes when I hear some monstrosity of an excuse for an English phrase coming from a  person  from a non-English speaking  country but from someone who  talks, bath, hear, eat, sleep, fart, piss, shit and speak English on a daily basis, just what the FUCK is your excuse?!

What's the use of attending schools? What's the use of reading books? What's the use of those goddamn brain cells?!!!

I can understand typographical errors. Hell, I know the world's not a perfect place. But the appalling impertinence of creating some sort of quiz saying "How good at spelling are you?" and then luring pathetic insanely particular perfectionists such as I to waste my time on your so-called quiz expecting an egotistical praise of 100% for a score only to be brought crashing down by a merely 50% is just beyond my patience.

A measly 50%?! *panics* Woah...something's wrong. I know I spelled them all correctly. I was so ashamed people will see my score I hastily clicked on the "Re-take the test" link. And so I did. 50% still. *WTF?!!!* So I took the test again...and again...and again until I gave up and said to myself, "This is just stupid. I feel like an idiot already." So I scrolled down and saw the key answers the author provided.

*the Bold words are my answer and the Italicized words are the ones the author thought to be correct.

Correct spelling is:


Correct spelling is:
Correct: mutilated

Correct spelling is:

Correct spelling is:


Correct spelling is:


Incorrect spelling is:
Incorrect: definition

Incorrect spelling is:


Incorrect spelling is:

callibrashun (SERIOUSLY, WTF ...SHUN?!!!!)

Incorrect spelling is:


Incorrect spelling is:
Incorrect: assistant

The nerve to tell me to study up, skim through a dictionary and introduce myself to a certain dude called Mr Oxford....