Delectable Dee

As I grow older and by God's grace, more mature, I come to realize that it is our choices that make or break us. That we carve our own destiny and we man our own ships. And with fervent prayer and faith in God, we can let go and let God.

These are excerpts from Max Lucado's book called Grace for the Moment. I feel truly blessed when I read them and feel inclined so to share them. Enjoy and be blessed!


It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.

In a few moments, the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.

For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose.

No action justifies hatred;
no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...
the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see
people as anything less than human beings,
created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as
anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll
invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the
wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment
to pray.Instead of clinching my fist at new
assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to
the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I will go without a dollar
before I take a dishonest one. I will be overloaded
before I will boast. I will confess before I will
accuse. I choose goodness.

Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust. My associations
will not question my word. My wife will not
question my love. And my children will never fear
that their father will not come home.

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I am a spiritual being...
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will not, rule the eternal.
I choose self control. I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness
and self-control.
To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done,
I will place my head on my pillow
and rest.

Grace for the Moment
Max Lucado


I am excited to see her again. It has been exactly two years since we last met and this time, she's visiting my sugar laden shores. A lot has changed with her and I am taking this chance to see her again before she move on to conquer another mountain, before she blaze another trail.

Things are well again and as always, I have this silly grin plastered on my face.

--- * ---

Today, I have come to gather the courage to face the death of another dream. I am not broken-hearted, amazingly enough, I feel no pain. Perhaps I have grieved for this death long enough and now is the time to move on.

Sometimes, the winds of change brings along with them seeds of possible relationships. People who touch us and we let them grow into the soils of our hearts. But although love is too grand, we still need to choose wisely on who we let grow in our hearts. we are but mere humans, feeble and can be emotionally depleted and if we want to be there and last for the ones we love [that really does matter], we have to choose.

Some seeds grow only to hurt us, their roots constricting our hearts, choking us until we're all too parched up to give anything more. The problems come when we too, are so enamored by this creature that the thought of uprooting it causes us pain. Some of us doesn't appreciate ourselves enough to know that we should only love the ones who love us back. So we allow it to grow and cause us misery until the time comes that we all sucked out of anything we turn into stones, jaded and spent.

I am in a way, happy that I chose to uproot you. I grieved for you in more ways you can imagine and deserve. I saw you slowly die, withering away but what can you have me do? I still have people I love and want to be with and in turn, loves me back the way I deserve to be and I cannot pick an oblivious death over a blessed life.

--- * ---

Love is too grand, I don't think we could ever contain it, even if we tried. It can overwhelm our reasons and doesn't play by any natural laws we try to restrict upon it. We cannot box it up and say that's that. It's so fluid, it moves like the ocean. Sometimes you think it's gone and then it comes crashing over you, drowning you.


Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
(Brighter than sunshine, Aqualung)


I know it is a struggle and it is a fight, with the distance straining everything else we try to hold but damnit, I didn't say anything about letting go. And such a fine prize, a blissful plunge to ecstasy and heaven of ardor, I don't mind being broken again.

What a feeling...


These things I do not fully grasp.
These trivial madness
of desperation and fleeting comfort,
where bane urgency
drives the need for brazenness
because warmth is no longer felt.
contentment has gone the way of the ashes.

Do you feel my pain?

Where I demand for romance,
I burn every breath
then cower in the shadows
bruised and ashamed,
not knowing what I am
or what I have become.

In the darkness where I bury my tears,
and in echoing sobs
where my cries are drowned,
suffocated by my fears;
terrified that if I dare face the light
my unhappiness will swallow me,
shackling me to the chains of my griefs.

How can you touch me
and not feel me?
How can you love me
and be blind to know
the anguish that eats my soul?

I try to have faith
but even the sweetest melody
falters to soothe the cracks.
And doubt strips me naked,
weak and void,
severely lacking of anything
worth hoping.
And the nights are cold and mean,
the dawn bleak and ashen
and once again
I am haunted.

Last night,
you broke my heart.


I miss having someone to really talk to. I have some serious things I need to unload and I recently just lost you for good. Have you noticed how off we have been since then? The half-hearted laughs and the forced mesh is flaky and pathetic.

Once, there's always been an us. That natural flow of oneness was great while it lasted. I'd be a hypocrite if I'll say I truly want you to be happy. At least, not with her.

You know what? I just realized I hate winter. Guess I'm fucked then, aren't I.

Too bad we can't talk anymore because you're too busy screwing her. I hope, at least for an ounce of your self respect that her breasts glow. Otherwise, you're just another bastard. Nothing special...just a fool who blossomed to douchiness late.


Note: Pineapple and a glass of cold chocolate milk as a midnight snack isn't very friendly to the tummy.

I've been sick for two days now and I am hoping to be well and able by tomorrow, at dawn if possible. I have so much to do that I've put off because I have been too dehydrated and weak. I am not a bread person but bread's all that I've been eating that somehow stays put inside my tummy. Such anguish. Ugh.

I need to call the embassy tomorrow. The sooner I can get these things done with, the better.

Have you ever tasted Nestle's Banoffee Ice cream? I somehow find it funny tasting in a weird sort of way. I took a spoonful and decide it's not for me so it's been in the freezer for a week now. My sister tried it too and so did mom. So I figure that they both found the taste weird as well.

I heard Magnolia's back. I haven't seen any Magnolia product being distributed in the stores here so I'll be watching for them. I really loved their Flavor of the Month gimmick.

I am looking forward to spending Christmas with Frank and his family but seeing as how things are going at this rate, I better not keep my hopes up. Summer in Ireland, then?

I am also excited for Thanksgiving. Much of the reason for it is the choir. I miss singing.

Everyday, I find glorious reasons to thank God for a blessed life and for loving me so much, He gave me Frank. Everyday, there's a new found hope and reason to celebrate. Everyday, I see myself beautiful and loved.

It's all about love.



When all the world is sleeping
frozen for a pattern of time
I'd seek you out
only to find
you've gone with then
leaving me behind.

Your face,
a lifelike ivory
so fair
glazed with silver hues
from the ethereal crescent lemon drop.

I hear you breathe
in a shallow rhythmic trance;

a sigh,
a gentle stir,

your heart beats steadily
- perhaps
a lullaby from a dream.

I'm content now,
I'm hearing the nocturne of your soul.

A love song.

Dusk over rice paddies, Murcia
Neg. Occ.
, Philippines


There are people who are just simply too exhausting to keep. They are the ones who are unbelievably so conceited and vain, that being around them is purely a lot of work and is draining. They must be constantly lavished with attention and affection. They pout and throw a tantrum should you direct your attention to something else not towards their general direction. They are very needy and they cling too much to the point of strangling. They tend to be very sweet and loving at first but as time goes on, they start to choke you with their constant demands for petty things that should not be the point of one's attention 24/7.

They get possessive and jealous when you talk to other people. They want you to devote your attention to them while they're around but the problem is, they ARE constantly around. They have to be the center of attention and the everything else should revolve around them because heaven forbid, people should dare try to lead their own separate lives.

They don't want to talk; all they ever need is your constant praise. You talk to them about something else for a change and they pretend you never said a thing. You might as well have been talking to a brick wall. For something different, you can shift to a new topic like how one time they did this or had that or was just given praise about this and that. Anything else is good as long as it's about them.

And well, yeah. I am too damn tired of them. Enough is enough!

I don't want to be in constant update with your life; I have my own to live. I care about you but I care about other things, too. I love to talk but please, let's make this a pleasing conversation where you and I share both our little worlds and not as if I'm in class. I am very appreciative of things, especially beautiful ones and I love giving compliments but please don't force them out of me - you only make me abhor you.

Please don't be selfish that all you want is you to be everything for everyone. If you so much want to see your reflection at all times, go see a mirror. The world and everything else does NOT revolve around you so stop acting like they do. Stop blackmailing your friends emotionally that you force them to hide at the very thought of you.

Get a life. And stop begging - you look like a dog!





Silhouette of tombs, Murcia Cemetery
Negros Occidental, Philippines



When I die, I want my friends and family to see the thin single line dashed between my birth date and the day I died. In that little line, there lies the story of my life; how I cried, laughed, fell in love, got hurt, was betrayed, won a friend, shattered a bond of trust, renewed a broken friendship...where I truly lived.

The dash in our tombstones are worth celebrating. They are worth living our lives to the fullest. Don't hold out the best in hopes of saving it for "special occasions"  for your life is the special occasion. Live it.


You ask me why I am melancholic.
It is because my Love,
paradise is not Paradise
without You.