Delectable Dee

I don't want to see you. The fact that you are insensitive just clashes with my hyper sensitivity. I still sometimes get the blues trying to understand how we could be so different from each other when there is the unspoken language that only both of us understand to bind us. I still don't get it. And on some honest jaded days, I get to contemplate that maybe I won't ever will. Just as you won't ever understand why nothing is ever good enough for you.

What am I to you?

I simply refuse to believe that one would just forget about the existence of something supposedly important in one's life and then after a gulf of oblivion, one suddenly remembers. What do you want from me, this time? I cannot bleed for your wounds and be discarded like trash the moment you feel better. Time and time again. I'm sorry but unlike you, I have trouble getting over something I've invested my heart into.

So. no. Don't come. I don't want to see you. Live your life now like I am living mine. I am happy for you and I truly hope you will find contentment this time. Don't go running after the wind hoping to come to a full stop.

I hate you for making me wish that it was I who made the difference.


if you walk away
then I'll walk away too
i wont remain
if you should ever decide
to part
I will not settle
I will not doubt
walk away and then you'll see

and i shall remember nothing
throw away
and I will not deter
and I shall burn
ever ounce of fiber
every string of anything
nothing remains
all is absolute

do not
for a moment
think that you own me
for although thoughts of you
are etched in my mind
your name branded on my skin
i can just as easily shake you off

I will scrape my body if i have to
i will have my wings clipped
i will grow them back
and surely
i can grow myself new skin

so don't you dare
think you can ignore me
that i am at your disposal
for you are a typical fool
and a blissful ignorant
at that

you don't threaten me
for I have already
died a dreamer's death
and for whatever that still binds us now
it can be easily broken

          and remorse?

                    it died along with me
                       when i first bled
                              for you


*picture NOT mine.


it's been a while now
since the last time I freely offered my thoughts to you
since the last time I saw the cold remains of a life I once knew
what is your motivation?
what drives your unfortunate flow?
it's in these contemplating hours
I can't decide whether you're a friend or a foe
I think about how you refused me
when I was offered to you more than once
you sly, unwelcome guest
just when the music flows freely
you bow to us
 in shameless assertion to owe you our last dance
it can't be chance, no
you don't work in random chaos
i've watched you toil all my life
you visit in appropriate grace
slithering your way
choking those you touch
like darkness chokes the dead of the night
you leave the living an empty shell
soul-less to greet the birth of light
how much time do I have left?
how many more allotted breaths?

06:10 pm


I had Eva Longoria's hair.

I had Halle Berry's hair.

I had Jeniffer Aniston's hair.

I had Jeniffer Lopez's hair.

I had Nicole Ritchie's hair.

I had Rihanna's hair.


if I had JLo's hair, blue eyes and I'm wearing this kind of glasses. A totally different me. Actually, not me at all. Hahaha.

I can also get away with brown hair and green eyes. Haha.


this is the original me. And look! My body's actually facing sideways while my head is turned in front to look at the camera. Hah!

I'm actually very bored. My sister introduced me to last night and there's this feature where you can get a virtual "make-over". It's very amusing.

If you're bored like I am now or perhaps you are itching to get a new hairstyle, this is a good site to visit. At least now I know how I'd look like should I get those exactly same hairstyles. That and if I live in a salon (we all know how our hair all look perfect after we've stepped out of the salon but come the next day, we feel as if our hair's been stolen by a jealous hairstyle Grinch...but that's a whole new topic in itself).

Here's what you should do if you're interested.
   *go to
   *scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on Beauty and style
   *on the left side margin of the page, under category Hot Stuff, click on the link that says Get a free make-over online and you're good to go. (Note: you need to register as a member [for free] to be able to upload your own photo.)



The sister of a friend died. She was robbed at knife point, raped and then killed. Her body was then dumped into a sugarcane field. She had 23 stab wounds in her body, 15 of them in her stomach and breast. She was only 22. She just graduated and was about to start on her life. A life that ended too soon.

At this moment, it is so tempting to wish all kinds of illness and accidents and curses to the criminal but he is a criminal and all attention and energy must be directed to the family and friends who are grieving for the loss of a life that's barely started.

Prayers of comfort to the family and friends will be greatly appreciated.


I have heard and read several times ago that we humans love "because" while God loves "in spite of". Now, it would be too purely hypocritical for us to say that we don't love "because". We always love because.

I am not saying that there is something wrong with that. The key words there aren't "because" or "in spite of" anyway but rather, love. I just think that we're wired like that. We love because.

I have always thought that humans are naturally greedy. Some of us with sense and decency will fight the urge to want more and to have more all our life. We try to be selfless and to give and appreciate the simple things in life. If it's not in simplicity, then perhaps we can settle in moderation. But we try not to be too greedy.

But when we're all alone and lost in our thoughts, who's to deny that we do crave and covet for things (that may not actually make sense to other people) that appeal to us and to our senses? But for all the things we all selfishly hunger for, the most noble of them is love.

I think, love is the only thing we selfishly desire but that in sincerity makes us selfless in return.

And since I am human and most carnally so, I love you because you love me. I love you because in spite of all my flaws and scars, you still choose to love me. Because you saw me when I was just a blur to the rest of the world. Because when you embraced me, you also embraced my sins and didn't flinch away. Because I see myself beautiful in your eyes. Because you made me believe that I am broken yet beautifully and perfectly so. Because you are real. Because your love rains on my dry and parched up soul. Because you make me laugh and have never made me cry. Because I know I am the world to you. Because I know you'll give up everything for me. Because robbed of everything and anything, I know you'd still love me and lovingly so.


So great is the sin of man.
Oh, so great.

I cannot even begin to understand the cruelty of man or from whence they come from. For a specie said to have soul, we sure have an abominable manner of showing it. If not for the Word of God, the Bible, I would dare think that we, as a specie is below the importance of the organisms that eats up the feces of animals.

Personally, of all God's creations, I think us, humans, are the nastiest, loathsome, repulsive, evil creatures that least deserves love. I mean, look at us! We're blatantly destroying the only planet we've got! The animals we call beasts all act upon instincts. Us humans, the so-called chart-topper in the taxonomy of life, the only specie said to have a highly developed brain, soul, reason, language, inquiry, wonder, longing, religion, morality, aesthetics, creativity, imagination, dreams and humor, claim to be much better than them. After all, we developed technology. But look at what we are doing! We act as if we are no more better than these "beasts" we claim to tame.

The nasty TRUTH.

The link leads to a video that is so revolting and heart breaking. I had to watch it though to be fully aware and to wake up to the alarming and utterly appalling seriousness of this crime so deceitfully cloaked by glamor and fame. If every drop of tear I've shed when I saw the video will cause a person who commits this act of barbarianism to drop dead, then I'd gladly cry a river.

Designers should STOP making clothes out of fur. People should boycott designers and labels who produce clothing made from real animal fur. I cannot understand how people could condone this nor could they look up and idolize people who encourage this crime. This is a battle everyone should take a part of.

Do you have a pet? How would you like for someone to skin your pet alive and wear him/her as a coat or a hat? Would you wear your pet? I don't think so.

May this post cause people to be aware of how twisted and repugnant the world has become to have people jovially praise and idolize people (with the likes of JLo/PDiddy/Beyonce/JayZ/Simmons - YES! I named names!) who condone and pedal this horrific "trade". Fur is MURDER. Wake up.

May God forgive us.
We don't deserve God's mercy.
Praise God for grace.


She is candidly perfect. Too beautiful, in fact that you would loathe staring at her. For then, every thing else is bleak and ashen compared to her radiance. Her countenance holds this masked look of uncertainty and you will drown in the wake of her smile. That's probably why she never smiles. Her eyes guards a mystery that taunts people with the veiling and unveiling of her fluttering lashes. She is never surprised and she is impossibly calm. Her attention is like the eye of the tempest, you abhor the riddle it keeps yet just as well, you are grateful for it.

She ignores and beholds. A look, is what often people get. She nods her head when needed. No one can tell what she does when disappointed for none dare try the measure of her palpable impatience. There are hardly ever anyone who can say they've heard her laugh. One can just float about in a trance of her possible glee, prancing through the arms of the wind.

To the eyes of the dreaming faithless, she leads a life beyond the boundaries of imagination, free of anything here and there. To say the least, she is an enigma. she is every bit of possibility in a one against a billion odds deal.

She sets herself above and against all. every day, a different horizon of impossibility than the day before. And surely, a different one again tomorrow. who's to say what or how, could be a mile or just a fraction more.

She hides behind the walls of every person within every woman. She is there. for all her radiance and breathtaking beauty and for all the mystery she inspires, too many blind lovers don't see her. She is but a rare find. A realization in a fraction of a glimpse. That's what she is. And most of the times, she spends her existence desperately looking for that fated one to see her. The once in a lifetime unfolding of a forever's meant to be.


Ethan Stiefel.

Ethan who, you ask?

Ethan Stiefel. Center stage. Handsome guy who danced like beauty sprouts from his toes. Dark blonde hair. Prince-y look. Eye candy. Delicious dancer. Heart breaker. Handsome. Disarming smile. Heart melting eyes. The only male [ballet] dancer to ever give my eyes orgasmic bliss just by looking at him twirl around in tip toes. Handsome. The only male [ballet] dancer to prance around in tights to make me gasp ohhhh instead of shriek "faggot". Handsome. Have I mentioned handsome already? oh, yes. Handsome.

Although he's a bit of a jerk in the movie, I still loved him! First time I ever saw him, I turned to my sister and said, "He looks like he was born a prince." He's just got this prince-y look about him. Everytime I imagine princes in fairy tales, his kind of looks always pop up in mind.

Ohh, isn't he just dreamy? I can't stop but sigh over and over again. He's just too divine looking.  Below is another picture of him with two of the main characters in the move Center Stage. He's the one with the blonde hair.

Look at his charming boyish smiles!!! I know I once said that I'm marrying Batman but as of this moment, I am deeply contemplating about having Ethan as another option. I mean, sure..Batman is exciting but he still hasn't gotten back to me yet and seriously, the electricity bill is increasing and I don't know if until how long I could wait for him. The neighbors have also started giving me this odd look when I go out in the morning to turn off the "batman distress signal." What, you've no idea what I'm talking about? Sheesh. Here, for your easy convenience.

There. That's what I was talking about. But yeah, let's not get carried away here. Back to my handsome dancer. (you notice how I've just started to call him mine? hahah) I am enclosing a video of one of my favorite scenes from the movie. Enjoy! But don't enjoy it too much, lest you'll develop an admiration for him, too. I have way too many competitors already. Please don't add to the many obstacles I have yet to hurdle.


I'm bored tonight and the day's been uneventful. I am in the mood for a rant but I am taking the time to let the emotional turmoil pass to be able to think clearly and to avoid saying things I might regret.

So yeah. I got this from Jacq's myspace blog and found it rather amusing.

Go to and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the first definition it gives you.

1) What's your name?
Diana - Completely strung out on caffeine so that words are unintelligible and rodent-like, muscle spasms are frequent, and random fascinations dominate speech and action, e.g. shiny objects, scarfs, capes, and magic tricks.

"I am so tired. I need to get Diana so I can study for this exam."

2) Your age?
24 - 24, The Jack Bauer Power Hour. The most entertainment you can stuff into a single day. Full of twists, turns, violence, and Elisha Cuthbert.

"I had all kinds of work to do, but I decided to watch 24 instead."

3) One of your friends?
Sheila - Australian/Kiwi slang, for a female.

"She was a spunky sheila "

4) What should you be doing?
Nothing - Actually means "something," but is used when you don't feel like explaining.

"Hey, whatcha doin'? "

5) Favorite color?
Pink - slang reference to the vagina

"I'm gonna get me some pink"

6) Where were you born?
Philippines - The Philippines IS an ASIAN country. Most people who visit the country don't get a chance to see the beauty in it. You have to live there to actually appreciate this country. Also known to have the most beautiful beaches in the world.

"The Philippines is great "

7) Last person you talked to?
Frank - honest, blunt

"I'm not being mean, just frank. "

8) Your middle name?
Jane - Someone who is very average in appearance and everything else, even though everyone wants to be her and thinks she is gorgeous. "Plain Jane"

Everyone else: "Jane, your pictures are so pretty, you are so going to be a model. Every night I pray to God that I'll wake up and look like you."

Dan: (sigh) "That girl's smile could brighten anyone's day!"

9) Last name?
- The incomparable Roddy Frame, formerly of Aztec Camera how a critically acclaimed solo artist.

Do yourself a favor check him out.
As his song suggests, Framo is The Boy Wonder.

- - - - - - - -

I'm not tagging anyone. If you feel like doing it, then by all means, go right ahead. And I expect someone who's got the wits to operate a computer and successfully manage to find this nook by surfing the web, to have at least a pebble of maturity to know that the word VAGINA is NOT dirty.

Thank you and have a great weekend.