I remember the time your heart left the Emerald Isle and your smile fluttered upon my sugar laden Pacific shore, I caught my breath on my throat and my heart was suddenly rendered feeble, too fragle to take another beat. I thought I would die, like an invisible hand was gripping my chest but suddenly, your name escaped my lips so naturally, it sprang from me like fresh clean water gush out from springs. And when we touched, it felt so candid and innate, like the feeling of a soft lullaby carressing  the tender cheeks of a sleeping babe.

Now this nostalgia of how we were is so great I find myself thinking of you all my waking hours, branding your memory into my being and breathing your name in my sleep.

My lips still remember how you felt like, my skin remembers how your hot breath feels like and my whole being tingles with how it felt like to be in your arms, to hear you whisper to me that you love me. To be away from you is torture. To know that you're unbearably near yet impossibly far is beyond patience and desire.

Oh, but to know that every sunset to  leave me anticipating is one step to the dawn of bliss of when we're together again. It won't be too long now, when your sun will once again shine upon these longing shores and when finally I'll leave my caramel glaced isle and soar my way to your arms.

sunset veiled by sugar canes
Talisay City, Negros Island
Philippines

your romance with heroes
from child-woven laces of dreams
has brought you again crashing
hope-strewn wings clipped
erasing silver-lined memories of tomorrow
turning dreamer into a fool
loving too much
loving too wrong

everytime you lose a losing hero
you retire to your nook of confusion
there you nurse the wounds people don't see
warming your heart with whatever love that's left
struggling to see beyond from today

you love too much too wrong
wrong being love too strong
but then
how can love be wrong?

11/07/05
08:36am
~djf

I celebrate you for many beautiful reasons. I would love to paint your stark magnificence with words I could dare breathe but I am afraid I will only mar your radiance.

I cannot convince the world your perfection but surely, my Love, I can show them how you love me.

Past all blunders and everything selfish, you have seen my nakedness and traced all my scars with love. You have indulged me in my foolishness and crazy dreams, patiently waiting, holding forever in your gaze. You have written me sonnets, bragged me to people and have called me yours. The most beautiful stake, to be yours. You have called me beautiful when everyone else saw mud. When I told myself I am never good enough, you never fail to show me I am more than enough. Your love's the best and I am forever thankful for you. Of all your many serenades, nothing was more beautiful than telling me I make you happy.

But most of all, your patience. Ahh, my Love, your patience. You are the only person who is able to show me forever every single blessed day.

Oh, and what bliss! I call you Mine.

So, tell me what you think, and tell me what you feel
I want to hear the thunder I'm so quick to steal
Listen to the dreams you're dreaming and celebrate you
Let me show you what a treasure you are
A priceless gift from heaven to this thankful heart
I want to take this lifetime to celebrate you
I want to celebrate you

(SCC - Celebrate You)
~Signs of Life~

Why couldn't I forgive you, you ask?

Because you broke me.
Because along with every broken pieces of me
lies all my dreams and hopes.
Because now the happy memories hurt
and the truth became wretched lies.
Because the soul has already departed
and what is left is a trite and hallow shell.
Because you twisted meant-to-bes
into a nightmare of regrets.
Because you clipped my wings.
Because of haunted laughter.
Because of stained innocence.
Because of friendship burned.
Because of shattered worlds.
Because they sting.

Because I bleed.
Because I feel.
Because I am real.

Because the moon sing requiem for love.
Because these tears flow.
Because of lost hopes.
Because of sob-lulled nights.
Because of forgiveness forged.
Because of a marred reality.
Because of mediocre words.
Because of dash-less tombstones.
Because of soul-less songs.
Because of bleeding pens.
Because of muse-less poems.
Because of deception.
Because of lies fornicating with truths.
Because of stolen bliss.
Because of empty promises.
Because hate isn't apathy.
Because of time-stained letters.

Because after nakedness
and
stark baring my soul,

               you still lost faith in me.

Why?

               Because my Love,
                                  forgetting is not forgiving.

(And I have almost quite forgotten you.)