Delectable Dee

Last few months, I whined to my two best friends about my frustrations in love.

He said, love's not supposed to be explained. Perhaps it it supposed to be without reason.  If explained further, it will become science.

She said, a person who could not explain love or why he/she loves doesn't understand love at all, or at least, could not fully grasp the concept or the emotion.

One time, when Frank told me "I love you", I asked him WHY?

He said he doesn't know.What does he mean he doesn't know? He must know! Else, he wouldn't say it. However, not wanting to look like a love starved fool, I didn't push the questions nagging what little sanity I have left. I let it all go. Maybe, I though, now is NOT the right time. Why force someone to spit out what he's not ready to spit out?

I reasoned to myself, he does show it anyway. So what if my egotistic attention seeking whore isn't pacified? He does make me feel like I'm the world to him. He calls me his Princess. He thinks I'm beautiful and sexy. Hah! Sexy. Me. If that's not love, the  I don't know what is.

Yesterday, I told Frank I had a dream. I saw in my dream that he got weary of waiting for me and decided to replace me with another woman. She was beautiful and sexy and seemingly all too perfect.

I know I'm very insecure. If you knew all about my childhood, you would, too. I told Frank that I was bothered by my dream because I have dreams that all came true. A lot of them, actually, while growing up.

If I could freeze a treasured time, hide it somewhere safe that cannot be robbed or corrupted by time, It would have been last night.He told me, he could have any girl he wanted but he choose me (read: constant and renewing decision) because I'm different. Because I am the girl he's been waiting for all his life.

Now, I can't stop giggling. Life is good.


Is your everyday life divided into corners dedicated to his' and hers? Would you be willing to go to certain extremities or just an extra mile? How much is too much and how far is too far? When exactly is enough, enough? Or better yet, is there such a thing as "enough"?

Song for the week: I'd do anything for love (But I won't do that) by Meatloaf. I have been playing that song over and over again since last Saturday. Good thing Watz couldn't read this, else she'd say something mean like I'm a stubborn ass or a foolish mean giant who loves to torture chocolates. *grins*

I really love the play of words, especially the intensity of the dedication and commitment the girl is asking from the guy. It's like the girl is hesitant and the guy is trying to convince her that he won't screw up. He'd do anything for her [love] but he won't do that [break her heart].

Will you raise me up?
Will you help me down?
Will you make it a little less cold?
Will you hold me sacred?
Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life? (I'm so sick of black and white)

Can you make it all a little less old?
Will you make me some magic? ( With your own two hands)
Can you build an emerald city? (with these grains of sand)
Can you give me something I can take home?
Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will you take me places I've never know?

Those lines are pretty much (one way or another) the kind of questions every girl ask their significant others. More often, girls develop this sense of having the need to take things to a deeper level than their partners expected and that usually causes problems. It's either he's not ready yet or the other way around. But sometimes, a guy is indeed interested to commit but the thing is, the timing is wrong. It's not that he doesn't love her, he's just not ready yet.  This decision can however cause an enormous wave of insecurity. What is wrong with me? Doesn't he love me? What did I do (or did not do)? Is he playing around? Am I not good enough?

After  a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and
A midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on
I know the territory
I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
And sooner or later,
You'll be screwing around

Perfect manifestations of doubt and the shadows of uncertainty and insecurity. Most often misunderstood by men as "nagging". I think there will always be this love-starved egotistical attention-whore void in women and guys should never hold this against her. What is so wrong with wanting to know you are loved? If you truly love someone, you show it and you say it.

I love how the guy says "I won't do that" every time the girl throws an insecurity at him and how he assures her his love for her by saying "I can do that" with her every seeking question.

Sometimes, I love to revel in the sheer "selfishness" of asking Frank every now and then If he loves me. It's not that I doubt him and his love for me. It's not that I want to be a nag. It's not that I'm so insecure. But there's this wonderful feeling of security and bliss of knowing you are loved.