It's been quite a while since I last wrote some thoughts here. So many things happened and so many things changed. I guess we all go through phases in our lives where we need to change but we don't know what. We struggle to keep whatever it is in ourselves that we think makes us worthwhile and then we try to sort out the things in us we think we need to change. But then there are elements around us that affects us in a way that we can't help. Before we know it, we're all different persons from what we expected and thought us to be. The changes are often left unnoticed until the time comes that we had to make an important decision that we realized we're not who we were used to be.
I have read somewhere that the most profound questions are the simple ones. Where were you born? Where is your home? Where are you going? What are you doing? These are simple questions we often take for granted but see how your answers change along with time.
During my break from the cyberworld, I finally owned up to my promise to clean my book shelf. I got rid of old notebooks I've been hoarding since forever and I was able to see some old journals. Old love letters and old contracts to self left me both triumphant and heartbroken.I am amazed at how much change has happened and to how different my answers now from about 4 years ago.
THEN:
Where were you born?
-I was born in Bacolod.
Where is your home?
-My home is in Dumaguete. Somehow, I don't belong where my family is. Alone, I have found belongingness in Dumaguete.
Where are you going?
-I am going away. To a place people don't know me and to where I've never been to, before.
What are you doing?
-I am making myself finish this course - unwillingly for the sake of my family.
NOW:
Where were you born?
-I was born in Paradise, in a sunset kissed sugar-laden shore.
Where is your home?
-My home is with my love. I don't belong anywhere else but with him, where I am truly myself. Wherever he is, I will belong.
Where are you going?
-I am going away. Each sunset is a passing promise that I am a day closer to the embrace of togetherness. I will travel with him - he who is the keeper of my heart. I am going to wherever he is.
What are you doing?
-I am doing what I love most - I am writing.
