Tough shit.

Ever remember that saying, "When it rains, it pours."? Well, that's definitely today. Lots of things just went completely wrong the moment I woke up. I was about to begin writing another article my boss told me to do when I lost my internet connection. It wasn't just the usual slow-to-almost-zilch browsing speed but I was completely disconnected from their network. I apparently got disconnected because I havent paid my bills since November.

Hold it right there! Lower down that raised eyebrow and wipe that disbelieving and accusing look on your face.

The reason why I didn't pay since last November because I have not been getting any decent internet connection worth paying for since then. I imagine the whole floor, nay, the bulding probably knows me by now. I bet, this is always the scene whenever I'd call:

"Hello, this is Diane and my account number is *********." Then the agent on the other side of the line would push the mute button and then mouth off a, "Oh, fuck! It's her! The bitch's back!" in panic. 

So anyway, I called tech support and asked them why I got my connection disconnected. Of course, I was already expecting them to tell me the reason that it's because that I haven't paid my bills, which she actually did. So I told her what the billing dept told me (that I should disregard the billing statements I've received because the figures were incorrect). They told me to call billing dept and so I did. Billing Dept said that they've done the adjustments on the bill and they said I have to pay for a whooping ass amount of over 5 fucking K. Five thousand!!! They are seriously bat shit crazy! 5k for just 4 months having a spit's worth of service? Hello? No fucking way. Cutting through all the bullshit, apparently, they've been charging me 1,700+ per month for a package I don't have. Real competent, huh? So needless to say, after over an hour on the with them, after so many threats and shouts, they gave me back my connection. Stupid girl said she "understands" and is sorry for the "inconvinience". Like hell she does. She should try working at home writing stuffs for her bread and butter and then have her lame ass ISP fuck that up for over 5 months and then condescendingly tell her they "understand".

That's just part one. Part two would be that somehow, my Poetry page magically disappeared. I already posted a couple of poems I wrote a few years back and they were all in my other site. Now, the problem with my old one (over 5 years old site) is that I incorporated the poems along with my everyday rants so you can imagine the kinda trouble it is to browse through five years' worth of entries again.

OKay, so part three. The desktop crashed. For some uniquely family trait, it has, of course, caused a fight between mom and bro. Which, now leaves me looking for any dark corner for me to hide so I wont get sweeped up in their tornado of stupidity. And fuck no, I'm not sharing my laptop. You see, in my fantastic twisted family, sharing is the evil seed that will grow into a fucking mighty tree of greed and fight. So, no.

Part four...it must be the weather or just that time again where things just naturally dwindles down to utter brokeness. Medical science would call it hormonal imbalances and I guess, psychology would call it depression. I should be popping my prescribed pills again, I guess. Things at home are not hepling at all and I feel like I'm back to square one.

I want to run away again but this time, somewhere far and remotely impossible for them to locate. I hate their making-a-mountail-out-of-mole-hill drama and I hate their bullying and I hate how they can emotionally blackmail me and use my love for them as a weapon to exlpoit me.

Sometimes, I wish love can be depleted.